I've decided, as I do from time to time, that I haven't concentrated on my blog as much as I could have. In reality, I feel the blog is such an overlooked part of my blog that I feel lucky if anyone even looked at it. To be honest, I probably wouldn't even know if someone did take the time to look at my blog. So, I tend to think it is not being looked at and therefore, just like with my message board, I forget to concentrate on it out of apathy for it. Far too often if seems like my message board has become something of a tree falling in a forest type thing. If no one is there to hear it fall, does it make a sound? Far too often I feel that way when it comes to these message boards. Perhaps I can slip another blog post in without anyone noticing. Because if no one reads what I say, does anyone actually get offended? I take the approach of who cares? If they care, they SHOULD let it be known. Either on the message board or the blog. They should come forward and either air their griefs at me or show their support.
I have determined that running a message board is a thankless task and one that leads to tons of frustration. I fully admit I never figured out the secret formula to making a message board work. I think it starts innocently enough. And the people you meet there have good intentions. They often come and show up because they knew you as a poster on another board and may have got wind about your board either from someone else or by you yourself. So they come to your board and give you a nice welcome into message board world and then something happens after the very quick honeymoon. You begin noticing that some begin leaving and you don't know why. Obviously you aren't entertaining enough or informative enough and so you pour yourself further into it trying to figure a way to be more entertaining or informative and you notice a few more people leave.
You bring up topics that will bring up controversy. Assuming controversy will be good for the board and create discussion, you instead get labeled as someone with a sour attitude who is turning off people with your negativity and still even more leave.
I have found that I have ended up with a select few who appear to be your die hards. God bless them, without them your board wouldn't exist. So you tend to try catering to them and what ends up happening is now your members have a sense that you need them more than they need you and begin voicing their opinions at you like you are either really dumb, ill informed or just plaid more stupid and ignorant than they are. I have at times felt hostage by my most loyal posters. Often I feel they hold an upper hand on me. Cater to them and they may come back. But they won't be a great contributor. They may end up posting only to leave for 2-3 months at a time. Even though you responded on the day they posted and hoped for a return reply, what ends up happening is they post, they leave, you reply and they never return. And when they finally do. The posts they last posted on are long gone.
Furthermore, they hold you hostage because if you voice a viewpoint they disagree with, now they are suddenly into it with you. Continue down the path of voicing your opinion and now you have alienated you one of few remaining loyal members. Off they go never to return and gone over something so petty. The cycle never ends. Hopefully you end up not being like me and wishing someone would post even though they don't. They are waiting for you to do it all but instead of contributions after you lay out new material, they leave once they read your latest posts. Sometimes I have felt held hostage from my own members.
Anyway, my life took a wrong turn in 2012. A terrible wrong turn. And next thing I knew, I was without a job. And a couple of months later, my wife and I separated and as of now we are just weeks away from being officially divorced. The world got suddenly difficult for me.
In an effort of trying to maintain at least a lower class standard of living. I started selling my comics on eBay. It's bittersweet. You make money to survive but you let go of books you once held so proudly. Suddenly you are cherry picking yourself in an attempt to keep afloat.
I could write on and one about my successes and failures. I've had a few of each. I have mixed feelings about the results. I am proud I kept myself going when all else was down but also feel shame of not having a real job and feel despair watching my best comics leave me. It makes it hard to run a message board. Especially one as dead as mine.
In any event. The comic message board lives on. Only in this case silently as I watch day after day without someone posting anything. Waiting for me to take the bait again and take another fall.
In some ways, losing my comics is a blessing. It keeps me going. In other ways it involves sadness of not realizing even more money than I have.
Ah well. Anyway. I met to write more and on a different path. I instead just let my thoughts flow and now I'm ready to call it a night. Meant to say so much more and so differently. But alas, this is where life has me.
Perhaps I will further explain my exploits in the coming posts. For now, I will be satisfied that I made another post to my blog. It's been awhile and perhaps it's time. But for now, I want to go to sleep.
Take Care!
